There's something about coming home to a greeting that's not your standard "hello." When that greeting is a vibrant squawk accompanied by a flash of blue and gold, you know life has taken a turn for the interesting. As a stand-up comedian with a penchant for the unconventional, I needed a pet that matched my personality — colorful, a bit loud, and definitely not ordinary. A parrot ticked all the boxes.

My research led me to the Blue-and-Gold Macaw. These birds are not only strikingly beautiful, but they're also intelligent and can live for quite a while, which seemed fitting for a companion to my sometimes solitary endeavors. I mean, who wouldn't want a sidekick for the next few decades?

Beaky's Grand Entrance

Beaky's first day at home was a comedy sketch waiting to happen. There I was, ready to bond, armed with treats and toys. Beaky, on the other hand, was more interested in a game of "let's test Sadie's reflexes" by seeing how many times he could make me duck with his surprise flyovers. Note to self: Macaws are Olympic-level fliers and your living room is their stadium. Who knew?

Then came the "musical" rehearsals. Beaky decided that the best time to practice his vocal range was during my Zoom call with a major client. Let's just say, it's hard to discuss financial forecasts when there's a live rendition of what could only be described as "jungle techno" in the background.

They Don't Tell You This at the Pet Store...

Parrot parenting tip number one: Forget about secret conversations. These feathery eavesdroppers have the memory of an elephant and the lack of filter of a toddler. One day you're complaining about your date's quirky laugh, the next, Beaky's imitating it while said date is over for dinner. Awkward much?

And who needs an alarm system when you have a Macaw? Beaky has a stare that could make a burglar reconsider their life choices, not to mention a screech that could wake the dead. I'm pretty sure my neighbors love me for those 6 AM "wake-up calls."

Lastly, be prepared for an endless loop of "parrot-proofing" your home. Turn around for a second and your once orderly bookshelf becomes a modern art installation courtesy of Beaky's beak. Oh, and those lovely antique curtains? Consider them a canvas for abstract art — beak style.

Final Thoughts for the Aspiring Parrot Parent

If you're considering a Macaw, or any parrot for that matter, strap in for a ride that's part comedy show, part love story, and entirely unpredictable. They'll steal your heart, occasionally frustrate you, and always keep you entertained. Just remember — it's not just a pet; it's a lifelong feathery friend with the sass of a stand-up comic and the loyalty of a true companion.

And to think, some people adopt dogs. Where's the fun in that?